White Wall Serenade
by Transparent Existance
Summary: Follow up to Fatal Obsession. Drake isnt coping with the events that took place with Shane. His Family's worry lands him in an Institution for Young Adults. He's ready to give up, will time behind these walls help him overcome the tragedy that haunts him?
1. Welcome Home Sanitarium

**White Wall Serenade. **

**Disclaimer**_:_ I do not own _Drake and Josh_, nor am I looking to profit from this written work. The song _Welcome Home (Sanitarium)_ Belongs to Metallica.

**A/N:** Here begins Drake's road to recovery, please enjoy, and, compliments or Criticism are appreciated. This chapter is a lot longer then I thought it'd be…

*.*.*.*.

"…_Welcome to where time stands still__, __No one leaves and no one will__  
__Moon is full, never seems to change__, __Just labeled mentally deranged__  
__Dream the same thing every night__, __I see our freedom in my sight__  
__No locked doors, no windows barred__, __No things to make my brain seem scarred…"_

Drake watched the houses as the car drove past, each of them seemingly normal and gone in a blur. He didn't really know why he had agreed to to leave home, maybe because his mom had tried so hard to speak highly of a place she'd never been. Maybe because home wasn't the same place it had been for him. He was wasting away there, and seeing the pain it brought was drowning him.

His mom had promised him that it would be okay, that he could come home whenever he wanted. He just wanted all of this to stop. Walter had urged him on, repeating everything that Officer Grey had told him about the place. It seemed harmless enough, but, he'd already learned that not everything was what it seemed_. Like messages from a cute girl…_ He thought, remembering every text Shane had sent him. Knowing where that had landed him.

And now hear he was, sitting in Officer Grey's car watching the world pass by as he waited to be dropped off. His parents had offered to take him, but he'd talked them out of it. Lieing was easy, especially when they didn't know what to think anymore. All he'd had to do was tell them he wanted to talk to Officer grey alone, and they'd agreed to let him drive Drake down. Really, he just didn't want them to see him enter those walls, to have to see the pain in their features as he was left in a place he didn't trust, a place they never thought they'd have to take any of their children.

The Institution for Young Adults was a relatively small building. Maybe four floors with a couple hundred rooms. The exterior was pleasant enough, brick walls and tall, white stone pillars made to look like they were holding the second story windows. There were no bars on those windows, which gave Drake an odd sort of relief. A wrought iron fence surrounded the property, protecting its green lawn and all of the inhabitants. The look of the place didn't change what it was; however, it was still a place for kids who were messed up. Teenagers who couldn't deal with the world, surrounded by doctors who wanted to get inside their heads and try to talk all of their insanity away.

"What do you think?" Officer Grey asked, parking the car.

"Looks all right." Drake said absently as he got out of the car. "Kinda like a school."

Officer Grey smiled. "At least this school, you can leave any time, and there are no teachers to work you over." He said, trying a bit of humor.

"Yeah," Drake followed him toward the building. "No teachers, just doctors wanting to hear all of your worst memories while they try and talk you out of your problems."

Officer Grey stopped and looked at Drake. "They can't help if you wont let them, Drake. No one's going to force you to talk about anything until your ready, and your Doctor is one of the nice ones." He chuckled. "She's very pretty to."

Drake grinned and walked through the glass doors. The walls were an off white color, covered in various painting and pictures of kids who'd left. There were awards from the state for the Center's involvement with Teenagers and the community. There were a lot more people in the lobby then Drake had expected, from Doctors to kids, and even a few families who'd come in to visit. It was lively, no one seemed too unhappy.

An attractive woman in her late twenties smiled as they walked through the door, pushing back her auburn hair she walked across the lobby smiling. "Byron Grey, nice to see you again." She turned her brown eyes toward Drake. "And you must be Drake Parker, we're glad to have you."

"Jennifer Harsman, chipper as always." Officer Grey greeted her. "You've read Drake's file?"

"I have," She said, clutching her clipboard. "His room is already set and schedule prepared." She turned to Drake, looking at him with a solid face. There was pain in his eyes, according to his file, he'd been through quite a bit. "I want you to feel safe here, if you need anything, let me know. Would you like to see your room?"

"Sure." Drake said, looking toward Officer grey, and then Jennifer.

"All right, this way." She lead them through the lobby toward an elevator. "It's the third floor, room thirteen. You have your own room, so privacy shouldn't be a problem. The building is co-ed, I hope that's not a problem."

"No problem." Drake replied as the elevator opened. The desk at the front of the hall housed a young man behind a computer, typing away furiously. The label over the desk read _Sexual assault wing_. Drake cringed as he read it.

"Jordan," Jennifer called, catching the man's attention. "This is Drake Parker, room thirteen."

Jordan smiled wearily. "Hello Drake." He said, taking in his appearance and returning to his work.

"He keeps pretty busy," Jennifer said, leading them towards Drake's room. "Alright, this is it. Boys rooms are on the left side, girl's on the right. We don't allow any off you to be in a room together with the door closed, or after eight pm." She said as she opened the door.

The room wasn't very big, but it wasn't too small either. The walls and carpet were a light blue and the ceiling white. There was a dresser, a bed and small desk all made with light colored wood. There was a small bar-less window and a bathroom the size of a closet in the corner. "Showers are on the first floor, if there's anything you need in here, Jordan can help you." She watched Drake as he observed the room. "Do you like it?"

"It's not bad," Drake said as he placed his backpack on the bed.

Jennifer smiled. "Well, I'll leave you to get settled, I have a group to run in ten minutes." She shook Officer Grey's hand. "Always nice to see you again, tell the wife I say hi."

Officer Grey smiled. "I will."

"She's nice." Drake said after she was gone. "Not what I expected."

"She's a very kind woman Drake, you can trust her." He smiled. "I have to get back to work now, are you gonna be all right?"

"Yeah," Drake looked over the room again. "I wanna call my mom later, let her know I'm okay."

Drake followed Officer Grey to the elevator. He didn't say that he was afraid of being left here with all of these strangers. He could feel the fear like a cape over his shoulders. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a voice; young and feminine.

"Officer Grey!" Drake watched as she ran down the hall, stumbling on her boots as she tried to pull her long, black skirt out of the way. She looked to be the same age as him, dyed red hair in long twin braids, revealing hazel eyes.

"Robyn," Officer Grey smiled. "How are you today?"

She stopped in front of them, not even looking at Drake. "I'm breathing," She replied. "How's Toby?"

Officer Grey offered his best smile. "Toby is fine, I've told you that. He wasn't as badly hurt as you thought, and he still offers his apologies."

She looked at him, not sure if she believed him. "He has nothing to apologize for." She said. "I'll see you later then." And she was gone, walking down the hall to what must have been her room.

"Who was that?" Drake asked.

"Robyn Chrystfer. She goes to the same school as you." Officer Grey said, as if Drake should have known. "Girl's been through a lot, doesn't trust anyone, especially boys, so leave her her space."

"Who's Toby?" Drake asked, all the while trying to remember her.

"That's her business." Officer Grey hit the button for the elevator. "Take care, Drake. Don't forget to call your mom."

Drake watched the elevator doors swallow Officer Grey, leaving him alone. He walked back to his room in a daze, shutting the door and falling onto his bed. He didn't want to be here, alone in this cold place. He wanted to be home, somewhere warm and familiar. But he wasn't wanted there, not in the condition that he was in. They couldn't see him.

The call to his mom was short, just a hello and a brief description of the institution. He could hear Audrey's relief as he assured her that he was fine, that everything and everyone seemed okay. He wanted to tell her to bring him home, to just hold him and make him feel safe, but he didn't. He told her he loved her, and hung up before Josh could finish asking to talk to him.

"…_Build my fear of what's out there__, __Cannot breathe the open air__  
__Whisper things into my brain__, __Assuring me that I'm insane__  
__They think our heads are in their hands__, __But violent use brings violent plans__  
__Keep him tied, it makes him well__, __He's getting better, can't you tell?__…"_

Drake let the phone fall to the floor as he curled up on the bed and cried. He knew he was tired, but he didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to remember, and he knew that being behind these walls would do nothing but make the nightmares stronger. He looked at the healing lacerations on his wrists, tracing them with his thumbs. The bruises were gone, but the pain was still there.

He could hear the faint sounds of crying from the room next to his, and then the screaming. The sound of running followed as Doctors burst into that room, and then everything was silent.

Suddenly the air was too much, everything was too much! Drake pushed himself off of the bed, crawling into the corner as the tears fell into the carpet. A fading trail of fear and pain. The bed was too much like the one Shane had left him tied to, had raped him in. These walls mocked him with their calming colored paint. Every shadow was a twisted image of Shane, laughing and reaching out for him.

_You'll never escape, you are mine…_

"No," He begged as he made himself as small as possible. "Just leave me alone." The broken whisper faded as his tears fell. These people couldn't help him, no one could. He was broken. Their words were never going to mend that.

Drake grasped his wrist, pressing down on the marks until the skin turned red. He welcomed this pain, anything to distract him from the memories. New pain to hide the old. He stayed in that corner, shaking as he fell into sleep. The nightmares were there, a collage of everything that had happened. He couldn't wake up, not on his own, and now, Josh wasn't there to help him.

"…_Sanitarium, leave me be__  
__Sanitarium, just leave me alone…"_


	2. the kill

Disclaimer: The song the kill belongs to 30 seconds from mars.

A/N: Sorry for the delay, been doing stuff and things. I had a hard time finding a song for this chapter, I still don't know if this is really the one I wanted. Bare with me.

"…_What if I wanted to break__  
__Laugh it all off in your face__  
__What would you do? (Oh, oh)__  
__What if I fell to the floor__  
__Couldn't take all this anymore__  
__What would you do, do, do?…"_

He was running in circles, the house had twisted, its walls and rooms forming a labyrinth from which there was no escape. He screamed and the echos tore at his ears. His throat burned with the wasted effort. He just wanted a way out, for this world of nightmares to melt away and let him be.

A knock at the door ripped Drake from his nightmare, leaving him dizzy and confused. At first he couldn't remember where he was, and that frightened him. He didn't remember falling asleep in the corner, and his muscles were stiff.

"Can I come in?" Came a boys voice.

Drake cleared his throat, all the while watching the door. "Yeah,"

A boy of about sixteen peeked his head in before walking into the room. "Jennifer sent me to get you, group starts in ten minutes."

Drake turned his eyes to his feet as he began to recall where he was, and why. "Can you wait for me outside?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah," The boy said. "My names Seth." He offered a smile and left the room.

Drake fell onto the floor, fresh tears already falling. How much longer would the nightmares be there, waiting and tormenting him? With difficulty, he pushed himself off the floor and into the small bathroom. He did his business, and washed his face before changing into fresh clothes. Long minutes passed as he starred into the mirror, looking into eyes that were empty and dull. He hated his reflection, and the boy that it displayed.

Another knock at the door. "I don't mean to rush you, but we have to go." Seth called in.

Drake turned away from the mirror, walking slowly toward the door. He didn't want to do this, to share these feelings, these memories with people he didn't know. How would they judge him?

Seth was waiting patiently outside, his hands folded away and his eyes constantly moving. "I'm ready." Drake said, startling the youth.

"Sorry," Seth apologized. "I'm still kinda, jumpy…"

"Same here," Drake said, watching the twitch of a smile cross Seth's face before he turned around to lead the way.

"It's your first day, so she probably wont press you too much," Seth said as they entered the elevator. "Jennifer's really nice, probably the only therapist I've seen that's been any good."

Drake just nodded, his thoughts elsewhere. In silence, the two boys walked through the lobby to a small corridor of doors. Each door had another label, and a different Doctor's name. Voices and crying could be heard from all of them. Their room was at the end of the hall, a simple door that lead into a room of people sitting in hard plastic people. Aside from themselves, there were two other boys, five girls, and Jennifer Harsman.

"Take a seat boys." She said warmly. "Guys, this is Drake Parker, he's new here, so, don't push him, and don't give him a hard time."

The group mumbled a hello, watching him as he sat down and stared back. He could feel their eyes looking him over, sizing him up and guessing what he'd been through. He didn't like the feeling, he could feel his fingers trembling.

"Anyone want to talk first?" Jennifer asked, trying to distract the group from Drake.

"I've been having nightmares again," A girl in the corner looked up, watching as everyone looked at her. Sandra lived in another city, and had been sent away by her patents so that she could get better help. She had been attacked by a woman who'd lured her into her apartment and let her son have his way with her.

"I keep seeing Jason's face, his eyes are everywhere." She said, tears in the corner of her eyes. "I get scared when I'm awake, like he's going to be here waiting to hurt me. I don't think there's enough security." She said, all pain gone as she glared at Jennifer.

Seth leaned over toward Drake. "Sandra likes attention," He whispered. "Her folks are rich and being here just grinds at her."

Drake nodded and turned his attention toward Robyn, who was sitting across from him, her fingers knotting as she stared out the window. He knew he'd seen her in school, passing through the halls or seated in the far corner of the classroom. He couldn't recall ever talking to her though.

Jennifer finished explaining that the security was adequate, and turned to Drake. "Would you like to say anything Drake?"

He shook his head. "No…"

"Talking is the best medicine," She said softly. "Bottling it all up inside is a destructive force." Despite the kindness in her eyes, Drake felt she was being cruel. He didn't want to think about any of it. He didn't want to be here.

"…_Come break me down__  
__Bury me, bury me…"_

"What happened to you?" Asked an angry looking boy from Sandra's side. Zack was nineteen, his pain had contorted into anger and hate for the world around him. He looked at Drake like an adult to a disobedient child, cold, merciless. "Another drunken case of 'poor me'?" He scoffed.

"Zack!" Jennifer glared at the boy, he simply shrugged her off. "I'm sorry Drake," She apologized for him as she watched Drake grasp his hands.

"I wasn't drunk," He said softly, remembering the party, the cold air outside. "I was kidnapped." Everyones attention was on him. Most of them recognized him from the news report. Drake stumbled with his words, fighting the want to keep them hidden, and the need to be free of some of this pain. "I was taken by a man who'd killed and raped another kid…"

He didn't let the tears form, he didn't want to gize Zack that satisfaction. "I spent two days tied up in the psycho's house while he-" Drake couldn't say anything else, he knew that if he tried, then the tears would break.

The room was silent as everyone stared at him, their eyes burning his all ready breaking resolve. He wanted them to stop, to just go away.

"Leave him alone." Robyn wasn't watching Drake, just looking through him to the outside world. "None of you wanted to be studied and stared at when you first got here."

Drake looked at her, silent thanks flooding his mind.

The next three hours were filled with bits and pieces of everyone Else's tragedy's. Drake watched as the other members of the group shared bits and pieces of their personal nightmares. There was Seth, who's been abused by a friend of his fathers, to whom his father had owed money. Candice had been raped by her ex boyfriend and one of his friends. Spencer didn't say much, just broke down and cried. Brenda and Tracy had both been drunk at parties and taken advantage off. Zack had been betrayed by his best friend, beaten and raped. Robyn didn't say anything, just listened as she watched the world move on outside the window.

"All right guys," Jennifer said when it became clear that no one had anything else to say. "Group resumes tomorrow at two, if anyone wants to talk privately, your welcome to come to my office." She smiled at all of them as they stood and walked out of the room.

Drake waited until all of them were gone before he approached Jennifer. "Mrs. Harsman?"

She smiled. "What can I get for you, Drake?"

He wanted to tell her that he was done, that he was going home. He wanted to say a lot of things, but instead he shook his head and turned toward the window. "I cant sleep…" He said. "The nightmares are pretty bad."

She gave him a reassuring touch on the shoulder, drawing her hand back when he shuddered. "I'm sorry," She said. "Jordan can give you some sleeping pills, usually they calm the mind enough that you don't dream at all, however, there is a limit on how many you can take each week. My advice, is to talk with other kids from the group. All of them have had nightmares, and most of them have found ways to chase them off."

Drake nodded, and turned toward the door. His fingers dug into his palms as he thought about all the things he'd wanted to say. He scolded him self all the way to his room, hearing voices inside he stopped in fear. It took a moment before he recognized the voices of his mother, and Josh.

Hesitantly, he opened the door. They looked relieved to see him, and instantly his mom was hugging him. "How was today?" She asked, reluctantly letting him go.

"It was all right," He said, watching her smile gain confidence. "Everyone here's pretty messed up, but, they seem to be getting over their problems…" He thought about everything he'd heard in group and shuddered.

"Are you all right?" Audrey asked, fear in her eyes.

"Just cold," he lied.

For half an hour Audrey sat and told him about home and what everyone was doing. He listened and nodded, holding back the urge to tell her that he wanted to go home. He didn't want to be here, but he didn't want to be home until he had himself a under control. It hurt his family to see him as he was. He didn't want that.

"I have to go pick up Megan," Audrey said, seeing the time on the clock. "I love you, and don't forget to call me if you need anything."

"I wont,: Drake said, hugging her tightly.

Josh waited until their mom was out of the room to talk to Drake. "Are you really okay?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

Drake couldn't lie to Josh. "I'm scared." He said, turning his eyes to the window the way Robyn had. "Do you know who Robyn Chrystfer is?" Drake asked.

"She's in our class, why?" Josh asked, puzzled.

"She's across the hall," Drake said absently. "I recognized her, kinda, but I don't really know her…"

"She wasn't your type." Josh said honestly. He watched Drake as he stared out the window, then pulled him into a hug. "I'm here for you brother, whenever you need me." He promised.

"I know." Drake said, hugging him back. He took all of the comfort he could from Josh's words and embrace, holding them close even after the hug was over.

"See you later." Josh said, running to catch up with their mom as she called his name.

Drake watched them leave, wanting to call them back. He waited until they were out of sight to go to the desk and and talk to Jordan.

"Can I get some Sleeping pills?" He asked, watching Jordan pull out a form from the top drawer.

"Room Number?"

"Thirteen." Drake answered.

He watched as Jordan wrote in the Date and time, as well as the name of the pills and the dosage. "Take these with a glass of water, their strong, so, wait until your settled for the night. If they work, and you want more, there is a four day wait. They're not a cure, and they are addictive."

Drake thanked Jordan and walked back into his room. He was tired, and he just wanted to sleep in piece. He swallowed the pills, and layed down in his bed. In minutes he could feel their effect, pulling him down and burying him under thick covers. Darkness was everywhere, but this time, there was nothing hiding in it, no one was trying to hurt him.

"…_Come break me down__  
__Bury me, bury me__  
__I am finished with you, you, you.__  
__Look in my eyes__  
__You're killing me, killing me__  
__All I wanted was you…"_


	3. Deiciever of fools

Disclaimer: Deiciever of fools belongs to Within temptation.

*.*.*.*.

"…_He feeds on fear__, __He feeds on pain__  
__He rules again__  
__With growing hate__, __He will guide__  
__Their faith again…"_

Shane sat alone in his cell, back to the wall as he thought of Drake. Even after these long weeks, he could still feel the boys skin under his nails. That pulse of fear as he'd touched him, that had been the surge of life! Shane smiled, closing his eyes and letting those sweet memories play against his eyelids.

His palms smoothed out the lines of his jumpsuit pants as his toes twitched. Every trembling breath, every tear was there, fresh as they'd been weeks before. With no effort he was lost from the stone confines of his prison, back in his little house. He could see himself standing in the hall, looking at the door to the back bedroom. Every bit of himself willed that door to open, to reveal the treasure he'd kept locked inside.

"…_He told the tale so many times__  
__About the dream not meant to be__  
__In a world of the free__  
…__Plays with your mind…"_

His heart shuddered as he layed his eyes upon that dream in cold, pale flesh. The phantom of his desire lay there, crying and begging to be let free. With cat-like grace he moved toward the bed, leaning over Drake and licking away his tears. He could still taste him, his mouth watered at the memory.

Shane reached his hand out, feeling the smooth curves of his face. He missed it so. He felt his eyes twitch and forced them to remain closed. He wasn't ready to leave his reverie. But when he turned again to the bed, Drake was gone. Anger filled his as he ran through the house, searching in vain.

"…_He'll sell your soul to the grave__  
__Without a hesitation to make__  
__He belongs to the dark…"_

And then he heard it, the sound of breaking glass so loud it burned his ears. He ran toward the bathroom, seeing the phantom Drake with the shattered mirror in his hands. But he couldn't stop him this time, he watched with burning hate as Drake slit his wrists, ghostly mist spilling out from the cuts.

Shane opened his eyes, he was back in his cell. He looked at the barred window with distaste as he shook away the daydream. He didn't like it when his mind didn't let him win. Drake wasn't supposed to escape, he was supposed to stay bound to his bed and ready. He was supposed to cry while Shane relieved his anger.

"…_He will sell your soul__  
__To bitterness and cold__  
__Oh fear him…"_

William Terenzo looked into the open cell of the monster who'd murdered his son. He remembered Shane when he was a young man, sitting in his garage watching Billy and his friends as they'd practiced their music. He couldn't have know that that young boy would become this monster.

"Shane Archer…" William mused coldly.

Shane turned toward the door, looking at the man and his two friends. "What do you want?" He asked, agitated.

William entered the cell, unafraid and angry. "You took something very important to me, and now you pay the price."

Shane laughed. "I've taken nothing from you old man." He spat at William's feet. "Get out of my cell, I'm not afraid of you."

William smiled. Despite his age he'd gained quite a reputation in this prison, everyone feared him. "A little more then fifteen years ago, you sat in my garage, watching my son sing." He watched Shane's eyes narrow. "You came into my home, and you took the most precious thing in it."

"Mr. Terenzo?" Shane moved off his bed, standing tall. "How do you know about that, no one is supposed to know why I'm in here!"

"A little girl came to me, she thought I ought to know." He grinned wickedly. "She also asked that you pay for wronging her family."

"I've never touched a little girl…" Shane's voice fell. Drake's little sister… "That little bitch…"

One of William's men punched Shane across the jaw. William smiled. "You'll not be disrespecting that young lass." He turned toward the other man, motioning him in. "Your kind don't o well in stone walls, Shane. There are no children here for you to hurt, only men with families of their own, most of them with morels against what you do. The guards do right to keep your charges hidden, but we always find out."

"I don't care," Shane growled. "They took him away from me, he was mine!" He struck out at one of William's men, his hit barly fazing the man. "Drake was mine! And so was Billy," He licked his lips, taunting the older man. "He faught back and I killed him, and then I ruined that fine little-"

William struck him hard, cutting his lip and sending him sprawling onto the floor. "Don't say another word about my boy." He kicked Shane. "That boy was my life, my only child."

"He was also my first lay," Shane laughed as William's men moved in on him. "Though, dead sex is nothing like the living thing. Drake was perfect, he cried, and bleed just like I wanted. Poor Billy didn't have the chance."

William nodded to his men, one of them struck Shane in the gut, sending him to his knees while the other positioned himself behind him. Shane saw what they planned to do, and he laughed hysterically.

"You'll feel the pain you inflicted on those boys," William swore, "And then you will die, slow, and painful. You'll wish you'd never looked at my son, Shane."

Shane tried to pull away from the man holding him down, he was losing control of the situation. "This solves nothing," He sneered. "Billy's still dead, he'll always be dead, raped and dead!" He bit his tongue as the first wave of pain trembled through his body.

For five minutes they tore his body apart, using it the way he'd used Billy's and Drake's. The pain was severe, but he numbed it with their memories. He thought about the way he'd done the same thing to them, about how good it had felt. And then it stopped, and he felt a tight fist crack against his skull.

Shane spit blood at William's feet, his laughter rising to an evil, shrill sound. "It wont bring Billy back, and it wont take me away from Drake's memories…"

William looked down at him coldly, his own laugh a dark, menacing echo. "I didn't expect it to."

William watched with grim satisfaction as Shane was slowly beaten to death. He watched the blood splash onto the floor of the cell, all the while hearing Shane laugh. He'd laughed until the very end.

"…_Deceiver of hearts__  
__Deceiver of fools__  
__He rules with fear__  
__Deceiver of hopes__  
__Deceiver of fools__  
__Shall he rule again?.…"_


	4. From the inside

Disclaimer: From the inside belongs to Depswa.

A/N: I am using a lot of music in this fic, there are many reasons for it, which I wont bore you with. And, personally, I don't think 160 is a bad weight….

"…_Without Warning,__  
__Emotions Tide in like a Breaking Wave,__  
__I can't remember yesterday,__  
__I don't recall ever being this way before__ …"_

Drake stood under a tree in the courtyard, watching the four of the others as they stood against the building smoking cigarettes. Robyn, Brenda, Seth and Zack stood in silence, exhaling smoke into the crisp afternoon air. They'd convinced Jennifer to let the group take a break after thirty minutes of silence began making everyone edgy.

After a few minutes of watching him stand alone, Seth finally called Drake over. Hesitantly, he walked over to the group of smoking teens.

"You want one?" Seth asked, pulling a cigarette out from his case.

"No thanks," Drake said, looking over toward Robyn. She was still staring out into the world.

Zack scoffed, taking a long drag from his cigarette. "Jennifer's new pet to good to smoke with us?"

Drake shook his head, not liking Zack's hostility. "It's bad for the lungs," He said. "I'm a singer."

Zack threw his cigarette to the ground, smashing it harshly. "Worse things happen." He said as he walked away, glaring at the Drake until he was out of sight.

"Don't mind him," Robyn said. "He's a first class Asshole."

"I noticed." Drake said. "So, we go to the same school, I didn't see you much there."

She turned to Drake, looking right at him. "Yeah well, I don't really fit your size limit."

"What?" Drake asked, taken back by her comment.

"Drake, I weigh 165 pounds, I'm not the kinda girl you talk to." She said harshly.

Drake stood in silence. He'd never really thought about it that way. "Sorry…" he said softly.

"Don't be," Robyn put her cigarette out and looked toward the door. "We should be getting back."

The rest of the group followed her lead, everyone filing together back into the building. Drake hung toward the back of the progression, hoping to get another chance to talk to Robyn. But he was stopped by Officer grey, who'd been standing in the lobby waiting for him.

"Drake, a minute of your time?" he asked, watching the others as they looked over curiously.

"Yeah," Drake said, walking over to him.

Officer grey waited until the others were gone before turning to Drake. "Shane Archer is dead."

Drake stared at him emptily. "What?"

"I thought it best I told you, he was killed in his cell last night, by Billy terenzo's father." Officer Grey watched him closely, but there was no reaction.

Drake nodded. "Thanks, I gotta get back to group." And he walked away, leaving Officer Grey in the lobby.

Drake walked down the hall slowly, letting the realization of Shane's death sink in. Sure, He'd wished it, but now that it had happened he didn't know what to think. Who was he supposed to hate now? Who was he supposed to blame? If Shane was dead there was no one. He swallowed the tears of frustration as they tried to break out.

It wasn't fair! Shane had gotten out of living in hell, he was free of all of it. He was supposed to rot away in that cell, miserable and pained. He wouldn't suffer through nightmares, the guilt would never tear him to pieces.

"…_Cause i feel weak,__  
__Like a Defenseless Animal,__  
__Weak.__Though my Will is gone,__  
__Weak.__As if i never really had any strength at all…__"_

Outside the door, Robyn stood waiting. She was searching his face for answers. "Everything okay?" She asked, seeing the red in his eyes.

He felt weak, and his legs stumbled as he tried to avoid looking at her. " He's dead…" Was all he could say.

Drake walked past her, into the room where everyone sat watching. He knew what they wanted, and it made him feel defenceless to know that they'd find out. There were too many emotions inside of him now, too many thoughts racing through his mind.

"Is everything all right, Drake?" Jennifer asked with sincere concern.

Drake looked away from everyone, his eyes widening. He needed to get out of this room, away from all of them. "He's dead." He said, turning toward the door.

"Who's dead?" Tracy asked, popping her gum.

"Shane… he's dead, he got out of everything, and I'm still here."

Drake ran toward the door, throwing it open and running toward the courtyard doors. He ran outside as fast as he could, running away from the thoughts, the memories, and those preying eyes. Drake didn't stop until he'd reached the fence at the far corner fence, and there he collapsed. He fell to his knees and gripped the bars of the fence until his knuckles turned white.

"_..Within a glimpse,__  
__I can see my entire life,__  
__Flash before my eyes,__  
__Is this more than momentary thing…"_

Everything he'd ever known was there. The joy drowned out by the pain. Anything that he had ever found happiness in was gone, there was only pain, only the nightmares.

"Damn you…" he whispered, slamming his fist into the ground. "I hate you, I HATE YOU! He screamed.

"That's not very nice."

Drake turned around, paralyzed. "What are you doing here?"

Robyn looked at him, hurt. "I wanted to see if you were okay, but if you want me to go,"

"No," Drake leaned his back against the fence, cradling his knees against his chest. "I'm sorry…For yelling, for the way I acted at school…"

Robyn sat down next to him. "Don't worry about it. School is its own madhouse." She smiled, and looked down toward the grass. "So, what happened?"

"The guy who," Drake paused. "The dad of the kid he killed, killed him."

"Are you happy he's dead?" She asked.

"I don't know. I thought I wanted him to die, but now he's dead, and I don't know who to hate…'

"You can still hate him, death doesn't have to change your feelings. The guy hurt you, you can hate him forever, no matter what's happening."

Drake looked at her, she was looking away again. "is that what you do?"

Robyn shook her head, letting her hair fall across her eyes. "I hate them all, with every minute of every day, but I don't let it consume me. You can hate him Drake, just don't let that hate and fear rule your life."

"Yeah," Drake whispered, turning his eyes toward the sky, trying to see whatever it was she did.

"…_I'm Lifted To the Sky,__  
__And I feel all my boundries falling away from me,__  
__And I'm lifted to the sky,__  
__As you bring out the better,__  
__Better, Better part of me..."_

A/N: i know the last two chapters were kinda short, but, hopefully the next will be better!


	5. Gothic Lolita

**Disclaimer:** Gothic Lolita belong to Emilie Autumn, and, Drake and Josh still doesn't belong to me. Yay covering my bases.

**A/N:** I'd like to thank 101spacemonkey for continued reading and reviewing. You are super amounts of amazing, and about half the reason I've decided to keep working on this fic!

"I have an assignment for all of you." Jennifer stood in the middle of the room, taking time to look at all of the teenagers surrounding her. They'd been talking about nightmares for two days, trying to keep from having to talk about the things really bothering them.

"I want you to do some work outside of group," She smiled at their groans of protest. "It's nothing hard, I have faith in you guys. Now, what I want each of you to do is write a letter."

"What kind of letter?" Sandra asked.

"A letter to the person who hurt you." She raised her hands as the protest started. "Now, listen up. These letters will be extremely personal, s they will not be available to the rest of the group. I think that writing out your feelings alone will help all of you to talk about them here. I can only help you guys if you open up and let me."

"So, is there a due date or something?" Zack asked, gritting his teeth.

"No," Jenifer looked toward the clock, she could see why they were fidgeting, it was almost four thirty. "I'd like to have them by the end of the week, but take your time. Dismissed."

Drake waited by the door for Robyn, she usually left the room last. "Hey."

She turned toward him, a twitch of a grin in the corner of her mind. "Hey back." She said, walking with him toward the Lobby. "I'm going out for a smoke, you coming?"

"Sure," Drake said. He didn't want to smoke, but he liked having a friend. Seth was okay, but he didn't stick around much at all. So he followed Robyn out into the yard, and stood next to her as she smoked.

"So, Drake," She started, flicking ash at her feet. "This whole sudden friends thing, is this because we went to the same school, or is it some kind of pity thing, because you have better luck with the other girls."

"It's not like that," Drake said, his muscles tensing. "I just don't feel comfortable with anyone else. We went to school together, I thought we could be friends…"

"So, we can be friends inside of these walls, but, in school you wouldn't talk to me if your life depended on it?" She didn't like drilling him, but she had to know. She didn't want his pity for what had happened, or for how he'd been in school. She really didn't care about the social war that went on in high schools. She just wanted a friend.

"Robyn…" Drake didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry," She said quietly. "I'm used to people jerking me around and throwing things at me, I didn't mean to offend you."

They stood together in silence, watching as Zack marched across the lawn. He pulled out a cigarette and turned his attention toward Robyn. "Can you believe that assignment?" He spat.

"We are here to talk about those feelings Zack. If you don't intend to work through whatever's got you messed up. Then you might as well leave."

Zack moved his eyes past Robyn, to Drake. "What's that doing out here?"

Robyn glared at him, tired of his negativity. "He's my friend, douche-bag." And with that she put out her cigarette and grabbed Drake's hand. "Lets go Drake."

Zack glared at them, closing his hand on his cigarette and burning his palm. "Goth bitch."

Drake starred down at his hand, watching as Robyn's fingers curled around his. She pulled him back into the building, away from Zack.

"I don't know why he hates you so much." She said, walking into the elevator.

"He hates me?" Drake asked, stunned. "No one hates me."

Robyn laughed. "He does." They stood together until they got to their floor. They exited the elevator, walking towards their separate rooms. "You gonna do your homework?" Robyn asked teasingly.

"I think I'm going to try." Drake answered. "I really hate doing homework, I usually try and copy Josh."

Robyn offered him one more smile. "I don't think he can help you with this one."

*.*.*.*.

"_;;;How old are you?__I'm older than you'll ever be__  
__I've been dead a thousand years__And lived only two or three_  
_I don't mind telling you__My life was ended by your hand__  
__The kind of murder where nobody dies__  
__But I don't suppose you'd understand_…"

Drake sat at the desk in the corner of his room, tapping his pen against the surface. He didn't know what write to Shane, he was dead. There was a symphony of thoughts and emotions swimming through him, hundreds of things he wanted to write, to scream.

He started the letter simply, just a name, a name he hated.

_Shane, _

_~I hate you. I know that you are dead, and I don't really care. Since the night of Cindy's party I've done nothing but fear you and its driving me crazy. I wished you would die, and, now that you have I'm at a blank. _

_In your own way, you've killed me. A part of everything I am is dead, and the rest of me is trying to carry the dead weight Do you have any idea what that's like? No, your dead, for real. You don't know anything about what I'm going through, you only felt satisfaction in doing it!~_

Drake closed his eyes, memories and emotions burning through his eyelids. He didn't want o cry right now, he wasn't going to.

"…_Thank you, kind sirs__You've made me what I am today__  
__A bundle of broken nerves__  
__A mouthful of words__I'm still afraid to say__  
__I don't mind telling you…"__  
_

~_You are the reason I'm in this place! I cant sleep because closing my eyes leaves me tied to that bed. I wanna scream, but I can still feel that cloth in my mouth. I see your face in the faces of strangers, and I'm afraid that you are still out there. I miss my family, I miss being home and getting into crazy situations with my brother. I want my normal life back. _

_ I'm supposed to tell you how I feel, like writing all of this will make me feel better. I feel like I hate you. I'm glad that billy's dad found you, and made you pay for what you did to him. You will never hurt another kid, and you will never hurt me. _

_ But knowing that you're dead doesn't help me. I still have nightmares, as if you were still alive. I still have cuts on my wrists from your handcuffs, and even though they're almost completely healed, they will always be there. My family will always wonder when I'm sad, if it's because I'm thinking of you. Nothing will ever be the same, nothing will ever be right. _

_I'm afraid to talk about the things you did, because saying them makes them real again. Telling all of these people leaves me open to attack Defenceless and scared. ~_

His hands shook while he held the pen. He didn't want to stop writing, it felt better to let the words out. He breathed deeply, and steadied his hand.

_I wont let you control my life. I'm still scared, but I'm not cowering to a bad memory. You are nothing, Shane. And that's all I'll ever let you be. I will defeat you, and I will have most of my life back._

Drake put the pen down, not sure if he was satisfied with the paper. It wasn't like it was a real assignment, he wasn't getting graded. He was done, he pushed himself away from the desk and layed down in his bed.

*.*.*.*.

"…_If I am Lolita__Then you are a criminal__  
__And you should be killed__By an army of little girls__  
__The law won't arrest you__The world won't detest you__  
__You never did anything__Any man wouldn't do__  
__I'm Gothic Lolita__And you are a criminal__  
__I'm not even legal__I'm just a dead little girl__  
__But ruffles and laces__And candy sweet faces__Directed your furtive hand__  
__I perfectly understand__So it's my fault?…'_

Robyn laid down on her bed, legs crossed as she stared out the window. Half of her paper as written, and it had taken so much out of her. There were years of pain buried under her skin, and pressure of all of it was finally getting to her.

She felt her fingers slowly caressing her collar bone, an oddly soothing motion she'd used for years. Her mind was numb with the slow approach of dark dreams, or maybe it was emptiness that would claim her tonight. She wasn't sure.

"What are you thinking about right now?" She whispered, thinking about Drake. He'd been following her around, almost like a lost puppy. She didn't really blame him, she'd been the same way when she came in, looking for one person to connect with. One friend in a place where everyone is trying to know why you're messed up, what tragedy hit you and knocked you down.

Robyn closed her eyes and thought of Toby. She'd hurt him, and he was still apologizing to her. She missed life before that night, when she'd been able to control most of her paranoia. No one knew anything about her, no one had cared. And now she was hear, and this kid from her school was reaching out to be the only real friend she'd ever had.

**A/N:** I thought the song worked for both Drake and Robyn, that's why I split it there at the end. Fear not faithful readers, i plan on going into Robyn's past very soon!


	6. Scream of the butterfly

**Disclaimer:** Scream of the butterfly belongs to Acid bath. They are amazing…

**A/N:** So here it is, Robyn's story. It's every bit as terrible as Drake's , if not more. This chapter is a bit graphic, and very sad, because the things some people do to others is just terrible. We live in a very cruel world.

*.*.*.*.

"…_A creature made of sunshine__  
__her eyes were like the sky__  
__Rabbit howls like something old__  
__As we twitch to a lullaby__  
__The scapel shines in god's sunshine__  
__The Streetlights whisper pain__  
__Down here near the poison stream__  
__our god has gone insane…"_

While he slept, he didn't dream of Shane, but nightmares still held him. In the twilight of his visions, he saw Robyn, her pale skin glowing against the black dress she wore. Her red hair hanging loose, dancing on the breeze. She was every bit the girl he'd seen everyday since coming to this place, but there was terror in her hazel eyes.

He tried to reach out to her, but thorned vines held him still, cutting his arms as he tried to pull free. He called out to her, a mixture of warning, and pleading. He wanted to help her, but he also wanted to be free. The Earth trembled and split, cracking like old bones as the skies turned red.

It was when she began to fall that he ripped the flesh from his arms to get free. He ran as fast as he could, dropping to the ground and catching her hand before she was lost to the swirling darkness. She was crying, but her eyes were no longer her own, they'd become dull and lifeless. He watched as the blood from his arms dripped onto her face as he tried to pull her up. He couldn't do it, he wasn't strong enough. Tears blurred his vision as he screamed for her to awaken. Nothing. Then one of his tears fell into her eye, he saw it streak across her face, as if it were her own. Her fingers tightened around his hand as his bit of Earth began to crumble…

Drake woke to the sound of screaming from the next room. He pushed his nightmare away and ran to the door. All of the other doors in the hallway were open, the rest of the group stood watching as Jennifer and Jordan ran into Seth's room.

Seth's words were drowned out by his screams and the voices of the adults in the room trying to console him. Drake could hear the sounds of furniture crashing onto the floor, wood splitting and breaking. Jennifer was yelling at Jordan, telling his to call an ambulance. Drake watched wide eyed as Jordan left the room, blood on his sleeves.

"Everyone back to your rooms!" He yelled as he ran toward the front desk.

Drake slowly did as they'd all been told, closing the door to try and block out the sounds of feet running down the hall. He could see the flashing lights of the ambulance in the distance, saw them fade as it speed away.

*.*.*.*.

Group had been cancelled the next day. Jennifer had been there long enough to tell them all that Seth was all right. He had tried to kill himself after having a nightmare. He was in the hospital now, and would be moved to another institution. Then she left, off to the hospital to check on a boy she'd tried so hard to help.

"…_She smiles like a child with flowers in her hair__  
__with blood on her hands__  
__into the sun she stares__  
__She feels it die__  
__I heard her cry...__  
__like the scream of the butterfly…"_

Drake sat against the small brick wall that lines the garden in the courtyard, watching the smoke dance off Robyn's lips as she exhaled. He could smell the cigarette on the air.

"You smoke a lot…" It had been the first thing he'd said to her all day.

She stared at the cigarette. "You kiss a lot of girls, it's just as bad for you."

Drake grinned. "I like the flower," He said, looking at the purple blossom she'd tucked into one of her braids.

"It's for Seth," She said absently. "But I guess that sounds ridiculous."

"No," Drake said, picking at the grass. "Everyone else is whispering about him, like he's dead. You're remembering that he's alive."

Robyn turned to him and smiled. "I don't think I've ever heard you say something so, deep…" She turned her eyes to the sky, watching the clouds.

"Why are you in here?" Drake asked, regretting the question. "I don't wanna pry," he said, "You just don't seem as messed up as the rest of us."

She shook her head, picking at the purple and black stocking on her leg. "I hide it better, I've been hiding it for years…"

For the first time, he saw her long black sleeve pull up, revealing a jagged scar on her wrist. "What happened?"

Robyn pulled the sleeve down, turning to Drake and staring through him. He hated when she did that. "You don't have to tell me…"

"Tell me your nightmare, and I'll tell you mine." She said, pulling out another cigarette. "neither of us seem to want the group to know, so maybe this is how we're supposed to do this."

Drake tensed. He didn't think he was ready to talk about Shane, but he wanted to know why Robyn was here, staring at the world from behind this fence. "What do you want to know?" He asked quietly.

"Everything…" She replied. "I want to know why you're hear, instead of with your family."

Drake breathed deeply, thinking about all of the things there were to say. "I'm here because my family was falling to pieces trying to fix me." It hurt to think about. "My mom didn't sleep because she was constantly checking my room to make sure I was there. My brother listened to me scream in my sleep and blamed himself. My dad, my sister, all of them looked at me and knew that I wasn't me…"

"I was kidnapped," he said, watching her soft eyes as hey looked into his. "Josh and I were at a party, and the guy who took me was waiting outside. He tricked me into going out there, knocked me out and I woke up tied up in his van. I was gone for two days, tied up in his house while he tortured them with pictures and phone calls,' Tears were falling from his eyes, into the grass.

"You don't have to keep going," Robyn said, her hand grasping his. She knew how hard this was.

"…_Sunshine in the house of flames__  
__she loves it where she gets it__  
__but it's never felt the same__  
__surgery, in the house of dissection__  
__when your candle burns out..I'll resurrect you__  
__she runs__through fields of daisies__  
__yeah, it's just a shame that they eat their own babies__  
__Who cares__  
__cos the air is free__  
__when you get there will you kiss the dead for me?…"_

Drake nodded, wiping away the tears with his free hand. "Robyn, who's Toby?"

She sighed, pulling her hand away to wrap her arms around her leg. "The guy I almost killed…" She took a long drag from the cigarette, watching the end turn to ash. "before I came here, I generally had myself under control. No one knew what I'd experienced, and I was content trying to get passed it my own way…"

Robyn stopped. She looked over at Drake, seeing the way his eyes looked into hers. That glance could either melt a girl's heart, or open a door she was trying to keep locked. It was the latter for Robyn. Jennifer had spent a month trying to open her up, to dissect that long repressed pain. But it was Drake's concern, his friendship, that cut her open.

"In the beginning," She said, not caring how terrible it sounded. "I was eight. It's a great time for a kid, the world's still magical, and you have years before reality has to sink in. My Aunt and Uncle lived in a small house in the woods, I spent a lot of time there chasing faerie's and butterflies. A lot of time," She whispered, "having all of that child-like innocence stolen. You see," She said harshly. "My uncle was a disturbed man, he liked little girls. Everything was a secret, and, at that age you trust your family, you believe in them…'

She felt Drake's hand tighten around hers, and she pushed back the hate. "For five years I felt his hinds everywhere, his breath, and his betrayal. All those years I hid what was happening, because when it finally hit me that it wasn't right, I was terrified. Terrified of the thing that I'd become, anf of the evil that I'd let happen."

Drake waited for her to continue, watching as she smashed the cigarette and ground it into the dirt, tearing it apart. "What happened to him?" he finally asked.

There were tears in her voice, but she didn't cry. "He died, his secret still safe and his record clean." She spat. "He got away with it, and I was left with a pocketful of nightmares and twin scars on my wrists." She looked at his wrists, seeing the practically vanished cuts. "How did you get yours?"

"…_There's blood on the moon as we plan our escape__  
__The goddess in bloom__  
__handcuffed and raped__  
__There's blood in the bathtub baby__  
__murder the king__  
__there's blood on the moon__  
__there's blood on just about everything…"_

"Handcuffs…" Drake replied. " I tried to run away, and, when he caught me, he handcuffed me to his bed. He did the same thing when I shattered the bathroom mirror and tried to kill myself. I'd never really seen so much of my own blood…'

Robyn traced the scars on her wrists, tensing as she felt Drake's fingers do the same. No one had ever touched her scars. "Mine are self inflicted," She said before he could ask. "I broke a mirror and cut at my wrists until it hurt," She shifted the collar on her shirt, shoeing a ghostly scar on the left side of her chest. "I couldn't kill myself," She said. "I wouldn't give the bastard the satisfaction. So, I cut it until I was covered in blood, and I let it pull away all of the pain, all of the memories."

"Did that work?" Drake asked, moving his eyes away from her chest as she fixed her shirt.

"For a while," She replied. "Don't try it though, you can hide memories Drake, but you cant hide scars." Robyn turned her eyes away from him again, looking to the flowers waving in the wind.

"A year ago, I was at a party…" She closed her eyes. "It wasn't one of those party's you've been to. It was more of a hang out for people who didn't have anywhere else to be. A whole bunch of kids drinking and doing drugs while we listened to music and played video games." She caught the look in his eyes. "I was sober," She said. "Drinking tends to bring up bad memories. Anyway, I needed a ride home, and a few of my so-called friends asked a few of their friends to give me a lift."

"…_Something cold is forced inside her__  
__a tears spill down her cheek__  
__stillborn songs of a dead dreamer__  
__hymn's of a needle freak_

_With sunlight in her hair she smiles like she don't care__  
__her dreams of liquid blue__  
__I cut my self again and again to remind myself of you…"_

Her hands knotted into fists and for the first time, Drake saw tears in her eyes. "I've always been naïve, and I've always been a fool." She said harshly. "The people who I thought we're my friends, were really just people I'd let myself get attached to, because I was afraid of everyone else. I trusted easily, which I should have already known better then to do."

"Robyn," Drake placed a hand on her arm, and pulled it back when she glared at him.

"I don't like to be touched," She hissed.

"You don't have to talk about this,' he tried, wanting the tears to stop falling from her eyes.

"They didn't take me home, Drake." She spat. "They drove down the block to a parking lot, and the guy and his girlfriend held me down while their friend raped me." She took a few moments, trying to steady her breathing. 'That's what broke my calm. That's what made me paranoid of everything, and that is what persuaded me to start carrying a pocket knife. And when I'd dropped my keys and didn't know it, it was all of that weakness and fear that made me stab the kid who was just trying to help…"

Drake didn't know what to say, so he got on his knees and pulled her into a hug. He felt her try to pull away, but he locked his arms around her and felt her body give in. She let him hold her as she cried, and she in turn held him while his tears fell.

After five minutes they were again sitting side by side, Robyn smoking, and Drake watching her eyes trace the clouds. The smoke dance on the breeze, snaking through the flower bed like fog. It took a while before either of them could find the words to say to make the day move forward.

"I'm sorry," She said. "For snapping at you…"

Drake shook his head. "I'm sorry for making you talk about it…"

Robyn put out the cigarette and climbed to her feet, offering her hand to Drake to help him up. "Talking is the best medicine." She repeated Jennifer's words. "If we cant trust the group, at least we can trust each other. Neither of us will leave this place sane if we don't try to get it out of our heads."

"If you ever need to talk, Robyn, I'll be here." He said, watching her smile as she turned her eyes toward the sky.

"Same goes to you, Drake." She replied.

He followed her gaze, watching the clouds take shapes and then dissolve from them. He hadn't watched them since he was a kid, he'd lost that wide eyed fascination. Now, he saw why Robyn held onto it.

"…She smiles like a child with flowers in her hair  
with blood on her hands  
into the sun she stares  
She feels it die  
I heard her cry...  
like the scream of the butterfly…"

*.*.*.*.

**A/N:** Please, no hate mail guys. This was a hard chapter to write, and i don't want to be criticized.


	7. Damaged

**Disclaimer:** The song _Damaged _belongs to _Plumb_.

**A/N:** I want to thank _1xadzy3dgftw1xLSNx3dg1xMGG_ For the song idea, I actually love Plumb, and hadn't thought of using them, Thank you! And, again, thank you _101spacemonkey_ for continuing to review, you're awesome.

*.*.*.*.

"…_Dreaming comes so easily__  
__Cause it's all that I've known__  
__True love is a fairytale__  
__I'm damaged, so how would I know?…"_

Drake lay awake in his bed, curled up against the darkness he starred out into a starless night. There were too many thoughts running around his mind to sleep, too many catalysts for nightmares. Memories of Shane haunted him, and Robyn's story still seemed too fresh. It was hard to believe that she hide so much hurt inside of herself.

So much pain had forced itself into her life, and yet she could smile through it. She was a lot stronger then he was, and yet she was trapped in this place. Paranoid and tragic. She was nothing like the creepy goth girls at his school, nothing like the other girls he'd swooned over. She was just, Robyn. The kindest, most real girl he'd ever known.

Drake closed his eyes and counted all the notes to all of the songs he'd ever written. His finger took the position of every cord as he tried to fall asleep. Sleeping never used to be so hard. It took about an hour before his thoughts finally slipped, and he was asleep. Running through an empty wasteland of hurt, and flowers. They were withering as they sang out to him, pulling him away from his darkness as their petals fell and turned to ash.

"…_I'm scared and I'm alone__  
__I'm shamed and I need for you to know__…"_

Robyn was standing against the hallway wall, waiting for Drake to wake up. Her black dress was crinkled and her rainbow stripped socks were only half pulled up. She looked a mess, and right now, all she wanted was a friend. She'd slept terribly, nightmares and memories had cursed her all night.

Zack walked down the hall, his usual scowl on his face as he watched her waiting outside Drake's room. "You look like shit." He said, standing a few feet away from her.

"Leave me alone." She replied, never looking at him. "I'm waiting for Drake."

Zack laughed cruelly. "That kid can't help you Robyn, he can barley keep his own head above water. He'll end up like Seth, weak and gone."

Her eyes narrowed as she glared at him. She was tired of his negativity. "Why are you so hateful?" She asked, pushing her red hair back. "If you have no intention of being less of a jerk, maybe you should leave."

Zack felt his muscles tense as his hands clenched. "I can hate whoever I want Robyn. People like him," He gestured to Drake's door. "Are weak. They get themselves into these messes and expect everyone else to clean them up. They cry and want everyone else to care." He moved past her, stopping only to look at the dislike in her eyes. "They deserve what they got, and whatever else they get."

Robyn's next words were a cold warning. "Stay away from him."

Zack suppressed his laughter as he walked away. She really wasn't worth his time.

Drake stood inside the frame of the open door, watching Robyn glare at Zack as he walked away. "What's going on?"

His voice startled her. "Zack was just being, Zack." She said, looking at Drake's disheveled appearance. "You okay?"

"Didn't sleep," He said, taking in her own rough look. "How about you?"

"Can I come in?" She asked, looking at his room.

"Sure…" Drake said, moving away from the door and letting her walk in. He watched as she sat on his bed, and left the door open as he joined her. "Are you okay?" He asked again.

"Nightmares," She said, turning her face away from his. "Every time I closed my eyes, they were there. No matter what I tried to focus on, all I could do was remember…"

"…_I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say__  
__And you can't take back what you've taken away__  
__Cause I feel you, I feel you near me…"__  
_

Drake cautiously put an arm around her, feeling her body tense before it fell into his arms. She was crying. He pulled her into a hug, the way josh had for him, and let her cry on his shoulder. She tried to talk, but the words were drowned away in tears and short breathes. He didn't push her, just let her cry until she'd calmed down, leaning against his chest for support.

"I'm sorry…" She said quietly. She cursed herself. She'd had herself so much under control before he'd got here. Before having a friend, she'd been controlled, and now that control was gone.

"It's okay." Drake said, hesitantly kissing her forehead. "I'm here for you." He hadn't thought the action or the words through. They'd just happened, and he wasn't sure about them as he felt her pull away from him, looking through him with glassy eyes.

She smiled. "You aren't the guy I though you were." She pulled away from him, wiping her eyes.

"You arnt the girl I thoguht you were." He said back, smiling at the way she tried to hide a smile.

"I try." She stood up, looking at him. "We should get cleaned up, group starts in an hour."

"…_I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say__  
__And you can't take back what you've taken away__  
__Cause I feel you, I feel you near me__…"_

"Yeah," Drake said, taking her hand as she helped him up. He'd wanted to say so much more to her, but the words weren't there to express the comfort her friendship gave him. To have at least one friend in a place like this, one person who didn't judge him or try to analyze was beyond wonderful.

*.*.*.*.

"…_Healing comes so painfully__  
__And it chills to the bone__  
__Won't let anyone get close to me__  
__I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know…"_

Zack leaned against the bathroom sink, starring into his reflection. He hated the person he saw starring back. He hated everyone. There was no one in the world who was any different then the person who'd gotten him into this mess. Everyone was the same. Everyone except Robyn, or so he'd thought.

He'd looked up to her strength, maybe even loved her. But it didn't matter now. She was just like the rest of them. And all because of some guy who'd come in with his fancy story and wet eyes. Everyone here had been hurt, everyone here was damaged. It wasn't just Drake, or Seth, or that annoying, attention grabbing Sandra.

"…_I'm scared and I'm alone__  
__I'm shamed and I need for you to know…"_

Zack's attention snapped toward the door as he watched Drake walk in. He watched with hate filled eyes as Drake turned his vision toward the floor and tried to walk past him to the showers.

"You think you're pretty cool, don't you." Zack spat.

Drake stopped walking and looked at Zack. He didn't like the anger that he saw. "No," Drake replied. "Not anymore."

In a wave of anger, Zack moved toward Drake and hit him hard in the stomach, watching with sick satisfaction as he fell to the floor.

"…_There's mending for my soul__  
__An ending to this fear__  
__Forgiveness for a man who was stronger__  
__I was just a little girl, but I can't go back__ …"_

Drake looked up at Zack, seeing the cruel smile as it spread over his lips. "What are you doing?" he asked, coughing against the pain in his stomach.

Zack dropped to one knee, grabbing Drake's chin as he wrapped his other hand around his throat. "You don't belong here, Drake. You never did." He said as he pushed Drake back onto the floor, kicking him hard. It felt good to be the one on top, the one hurting instead of being hurt.

"I didn't do anything," Drake said angrily, pushing himself back up.

Zack grabbed his hair, forcing to Drake to look him in the eye. "And neither did I." He said, hoping Drake took the hint.

Drake watched as Zack walked away, laughing. He'd taken the hint, but he didn't like it. He didn't like being weak, out of control. But he was afraid, so he took his shower, pulling his shirt down over the bruise on his stomach and pushed the incident out of his mind. Maybe Zack had just been angry, maybe…

Robyn was waiting for him in the Lobby, all of her distress from that morning washed away and hidden. He didn't think he'd ever be able to retain the kind of ease and control she did.

"Drake…?" She asked, watching the way his hand lingered over his stomach. "Everything okay?"

"…_I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say__  
__And you can't take back what you've taken away__  
__Cause I feel you, I feel you near me…"_

"Yeah," He said, pushing it all away. "My stomach just hurts." He wanted to tell her what had happened, but he didn't want to make Zack angry. He pushed all of it away, and silently hoped that Zack had gotten all of his anger out of his system. He told himself that it had been a one time thing, that if it happened again, he would tell Robyn. He didnt want to be anyone's toy, not again. 


	8. I will not bow

**Disclaimer:** I will not bow belongs to breaking Benjamin.

**A/N:** So, for all who were wondering, when Zack said he didn't do anything, he was referring mostly to beating Drake up, he doesn't want Drake to tell anyone. Sorry if I wrote that badly, I've been exhausted. That is also why I cant for the life of me focus on a better song for this chapter, I had them all picked and planned out, then lost the paper I'd written it down on…

*.*.*.*.

"…_Now The dark begins to rise, save your breath it's far from over__  
__Leave the lost and dead behind, nows your chance to run for cover__  
__I don't want to change the world, I just want to leave it colder__  
__Light the fuse and burn it up, take the path that leads to nowhere__  
__All is lost again, but I'm not giving in__…"_

Drake sat in the circle, listening to the other members of the group as they talked about their feeling, about their experiences. He knew that his turn was coming, though, he wasn't sure he was ready. It was easy to talk to Robyn, she was his friend. These people weren't his friends, they were just curious. Always looking for something else to talk about when you weren't around.

Zack's cold eyes were watching him, that glint of malicious intent still there. Drake wished that he knew what had started this. He was afraid of Zack. Zack was strong, and, as hurt as he was, he was more in control then Drake was. And he was always watching.

"Drake?" Jennifer asked, pulling his attention away from Zack. "Would you like to talk about anything today?"

Drake breathed heavily. He really didn't, but, he needed to. If Jennifer was convinced that he was better, then he'd feel okay about leaving. "I'm not having as many nightmares." He said.

"Good." She replied. "Would you like to talk about what happened?" She said, pushing.

Drake looked to Robyn, seeing her eyes on him rather then the window gave him an odd sort of strength. "What about?" He asked, not knowing where to start.

"You could start with the beginning," She said. "or just your feelings. Whatever is best for you."

For forty minutes, Drake told the group about what had happened, though his eyes never left Robyn's. It was like the rest of them weren.t there. The words fell endlessly, his memories, and all of the fear and pain that had accompanied them. It wasn't until he'd run out of things to say that he saw the way he others were looking at him, intent, sad. Instantly, his eyes moved to the floor, his finger nails biting into his palms.

Jennifer noticed his discomfort and turned toward the clock. "All right guys, if none has anything else to say, then you are free to go."

As usual, the group were up and leaving as soon as she'd given permission to do so. Zack followed close behind Drake, his fists all ready clenched. He could not escape the feeling he'd gotten from hitting him before, that release. He wanted to do it again, to just hurt him, but he slowed his steps as Robyn caught up with Drake. He didn't think Drake could defend himself, but he knew that Robyn wasn't to be messed with. Her own paranoia had lead some kid to the hospital.

"…_I Will Not Bow, I Will Not Break__  
__I Will shut the world away__  
__I will not fall, I will not fade__  
__I will take your breath away…"_

"You did good in there." Robyn said, watching as Drake picked at the grass.

"Thanks," He said. Drake dropped the broken grass back onto the ground and leaned back against a tree. It had taken a lot out of him, but he felt better. "I think," he started, watching her eyes as she scanned him. "if I stop trying to pretend it never happened, and just let it out, I'll be ready to go home in no time."

She smiled, though there was sorrow in her eyes. "Yeah, you'll be out of here in no time."

"You could leave too," He said. "I could help you out at school, if you needed me too."

"You wouldn't want to be seen around me there." She said, exhaling smoke.

"Robyn, you're my friend. Not just in here, but out there too." Drake said, gesturing to the world beyond the fence.

"Thanks," She said. "But I don't know if I want to go back out there, yet."

Drake moved closer to her, placing his hand over hers. "I think you are, and I'd be there to protect you."

Zack scoffed. "You cant even take care of yourself." He spat, coming out from behind the tree and looking at the two with disgust. "You're weak, Drake, and you always will be."

Robyn crushed her cigarette and pushed herself to her feet, eyes fierce. "Leave us alone, Zack."

"Or what?" Zack taunted. "Are you going to stab me too?'

Robyn cringed. Now, more then ever, she hated Zack. She'd disliked him from the start, but all she could feel for him now was hate. "Get out of here, Zack, or I just might."

Zack laughed, backing away mockingly. "She won't always be at your side, Drake." He sneered. He'd hurt him again, tonight. He promised himself.

Drake was on his feet by the time Zack was leaving, his hands shaking into fists. He wasn't weak. He told himself, looking over to Robyn. He saw the hurt in her eyes and let his own fall away.

"Robyn?"

"It's nothing." She said.

"Robyn, you can talk to me,"

"Leave it alone." She snapped, and then she was gone. She walked away from him, leaving him confused as she fought her own inner battle. It had been low of Zack to bring up Toby, and right now, she didn't want to be around anyone.

"…_Watch the end from dying eyes, now the dark is taking over__  
__Show me where forever dies__  
__Take the fall and run to heaven__  
__All is lost again but I'm not giving in…"_

Drake kicked the tree, in anger, in frustration. He felt weak, powerless. All he'd wanted was to get the help he needed, and to help Robyn. He wanted for both of them to be away from these white walls, where bad memories lived on.

Drake moved over the courtyard, back to his room. Right now, he wanted to be alone. He was tired, and his mind was busy. He thought about stopping by Robyn's room, to see if she was okay. But her lights were off, and the room was silent.

So he moved down the hall to his own room, walking into the darkness and welcoming it. It wasn't until he'd turned on the light that panic set in. Zack was in his room, waiting along the wall. Drake turned to open the door, but Zack moved and held it shut.

"Where do you think your going?" Zack hissed.

"Get out of my room," Drake said, turning and standing his ground.

"Make me." Zack dared.

Drake clenched his fist and swung it at Zack's face, hitting him with all of his force. Zack stumbled back, then hit him back across the face. Before Drake could react, Zack had thrown him to the floor. He kicked Drake along the spine, laughing as he cringed in pain. It felt so good to be on top of someone else. To hurt someone else.

"Stop," Drake pleaded, holding his side.

"Shut up!" Zack growled. He didn't want anyone to hear, he wasn't ready for this to be over.

"No!" Drake shouted.

"…_I will not bow, I will not break__  
__I will shut the world away__  
__I will not fall, I will not fade__  
__I will take your breath away…"_

Zack dropped to his knees before again punching drake in the stomach. He then leaned over him, his hand pressed against his mouth to keep him quiet.

"I'm not done, Drake." He spat, hitting drake again.

Drake began to panic. He didn't like this, it was too much like before. The more he tried to call out, he harder Zack pressed his hand over his mouth, like he was crushing him. He tried to hit him back, but his aim was hindered and his shots too slow. Zack hit him in the stomach, the ribs and again across the face. Drake could feel the world around him spinning.

Robyn left her room in search of Drake. She felt terrible about the way she had acted earlier. She just couldn't control herself when she was upset, which usually lead to angry outbursts. She wanted to apologize.

She walked down the hall toward his room, the light was on. "Drake?" she knocked on the door.

Zack leaned over Drake, using his free arm to try and restrain him. "Don't move," He whispered in Drake's ear. "Just let her walk away, and I'll let you do the same."

Robyn could hear something, but she wasn't sure what. She didn't like it though. "Drake, if your upset with me, that's fine. Just say it though, we're a little old for the silnt treatment."

Drake tried to push Zack off of him, at least enough that he could get Robyn's attention. He moved his fot, and slammed it hard against the floor, causing him to wince. It worked though, Zack was distracted enough, that Drake threw him off balance and pulled his arms and mouth free.

"Robyn!" he shouted, fear on his voice.

Zack, with anger in his very essence hit Drake again across the mouth, causing it to bleed.

Robyn heard the struggle just before hearing her name. Without hesitance she burst into the room, stopping for only a moment to take in the scene. Drake was on the floor, his mouth bleeding as Zack tried to cover it. Zack looked angry, and he focused that anger back at Drake.

"You stupid little,"

Robyn moved fast, hitting Zack while he was distracted and throwing him off of Drake. She turned toward the door and yelled for Jordan.

Zack could hear Jordan running down the hall, and he didn't want to wait to get into trouble. He glared at Drake, and Robyn before running for the door, and down the hall.

"What's going on in here?" jordan asked, seeing the blood on Drake's lips.

"Zack was beating him up." Robyn said, pointing in the direction that Zack had run.

Jordan nodded, then ran off to catch him. Robyn turned toward Drake, looking at the wide-eyed panic in his features.

"Drake are you okay?" She asked, kneeling beside him.

Drake shook his head, pulling his knees in close. He'd wanted to be strong, to fight back, but he couldn't. he hadn't been strong enough to protect himself. "Zack was right…'

"Drake, what are you talking about?"

"I'm not strong, Robyn. I'm weak."

"No your not,' She tried, but he shrugged her off.

"Please," he asked, pulling himself to his feet and turning toward the floor. 'I just want to be alone…'

"Drake," Robyn placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling him tense as he backed away.

"Just go Robyn, I can handle this on my own." He knew that he couldn't, but right now, he didn't want anyone around. He wanted to be alone. He wanted time to think before Jordan came back with Jennifer to question him.

"All right," Robyn said, hurt but understanding. She backed away, toward the door. "I'm here for you Drake." She promised before leaving the room and closing the door. Silence was the only reply.

"…_And I'll survive, paranoid__  
__I have lost the will to change and I am not proud, cold blooded, fake__  
__I will shut the world away….."_


	9. All hands on Deck

**Disclaimer:** All hands on Deck belongs to Waking Ashland. It's a really pretty song.

**A/N:** I don't kow how much longer this will be, it's already longer then I'd originally planned, thanks to those of you who've kept with it so far!

*.*.*.*.

"…_All hands on deck, don't abandon the ship__  
__You'll never know what it could have been__  
__All hands on deck, my ship is sinking__  
__Don't let me go, Don't let me drown…"_

Drake sat on his bed, ignoring the Officer who was talking to Jennifer, each of them talking about him as if he weren't there. They'd caught Zack, of course, and he was being transferred to another facility. A nurse had looked Drake over, and he was fine. A few bruises, which she assured him would heal quickly.

The questioning had been the worst part. Why had Zack been in his room, why were the two of them fighting, how long had it been going on? Drake didn't have answers to most of their questions, which left everyone frustrated.

He was relieved when they finally left him alone. No more questions, no more awkward glances. It was just him, alone in this cell like room. He hated it here, the blank walls and bar-less windows. He knew that he could leave at anytime, but what would that accomplish? Maybe he'd gotten a little better, but what happened when he was thrown back into the world?

Drake pulled his knees up to his chest and pushed away the tears. He wasn't crying, not now, not over this. Instead he starred at his wrists. The lacerations were gone, but he could still see where they had been. He ran his thumb over the flesh, contemplating.

"…_A step to the right to your own rhythm__  
__Cause what comes next is up to you__  
__And I need a miracle to save me from this__  
__And I need the angels to all pray for me__  
__I can't believe you…"_

"Don't do it." Robyn's voice startled him.

She didn't wait for him to tell her it was okay to come in. She closed the door behind her and sat on the bed next to him, taking his hand between hers. "I know what you're thinking, Drake. It may seem like a good idea now, but it's not."

"You did it." He said childishly.

"I did, and I wish I hadn't. It doesn't help make you stronger." She forced him to meet her gaze. "And it wont chase away the things that are haunting you."

There were many things he wanted to say to her. He wanted to be angry because she'd stormed off earlier that day. He wanted to apologize for the way he'd acted after Zack had attacked him. And he wanted to grab her hand, and drag her away from this place, away to somewhere where no one knew what they'd been through.

"Drake?" She could see the pain he was holding back, all of the thoughts he was trying to push away. "I'm here, Drake."

"I'm sorry." He said finally. "For everything."

"What do you mean?" She asked, confused.

Drake pulled away from her, moving towards the window. "I'm weak, Robyn. I never realized it before, but the last month has changed everything I thought I knew. I was tricked, kidnapped, tortured and raped. That kind of stuff isn't supposed to happen, but it did. I ended up here because I couldn't help myself. I made fun of Mindy for being Crazy, and look where I am. She's probably laughing at me right now."

"Drake," Robyn had never seen him rant, not even in school.

"I have the ability to leave this place, but I don't." He starred at her. "It's not just because I don't think I'm ready, Robyn. It's because the only friend I have who knows me almost as much as my brother, who I feel like I can rely on like him, isn't ready to leave."

"…Another day another worry  
Breaks right through  
And indecision bleeds me dry  
And she's turning pages I'm not making for her  
And she's been in pictures without me in mind  
I can't believe you…"

Robyn starred at him, seeing something he couldn't. "You're more then ready to leave this place, Drake. You've had the strength to do so for days. The only thing holding you back is a fear of the things you cant predict. What happened with Zack doesn't make you weak, it makes him a bully with some serious issues."

She sighed, looking at him with blurry yes. "What happened to you was terrible, Drake, but you have everything that you need to get passed it. Your family, your friends, and, me. I'm here for you, when you need me to be. Don't hold yourself back because of me." Her voice was strict, yet soft. "Don't keep yourself locked away in this place because I'm still here."

"You can't stay here forever." Drake said.

"Niether can you." Robyn knew what she had to do. She didn't want to be harsh with him, not after he'd opened up to her. Not after seeing the fear in his eyes as Zack had hit him. "Drake, you ont belong here anymore. Ther is nothing more these walls can offer you." Her voice cracked, and it took everything she had to push away the tears. "And if I'm the only thing holding ou back from living your life, then maybe," She turned away. "maybe our friendship shouldn't continue."

Robyn couldn't look at him, and she didn't wait to hear what he had to say. She ran out from his room, ignoring Sandra's prying eyes as she slammed on the elevator button. She wanted to be outside, she needed to get out. She could hear Drake running after her, his voice calling her name. With a heaving chest she watched the elevator doors close, swallowing him away.

"…_All hands on deck, don't abandon the ship__  
__You'll never know what it could have been__  
__All hands on deck, my ship is sinking__  
__Don't let me go, don't let me drown…"_

Her words had hit him hard. Drake didn't know why he was chasing after her, he just felt like he had to. If something he had said had hurt her, then he wanted to make it right. She meant too much to him to let their friendship fall to pieces like this.

He'd chased her down the hall, watched as the elevator doors swallowed her away. Like cold, metal gates, stealing her to some unknown place. No! He waited with shaking hands for the doors to re-open, pressing for the main button furiously. He was sure that she was heading for the courtyard.

He could see her silohette against the far gate, the red ember of her cigarette glowing like a becon. Slowly, he arroached her. She was crying, it was probably the sadest sound he had ever heard.

"Leave me alone, Drake." She said, her voice soft.

""I cant." He said. He wouldn't leave her out here, hurt and alone. "Robyn, if it was anything I said-"

"Drake, it's not you. You've been the best friend I've ever had, and I cherish our friendship, I really do. But if I'm what's holding you here, then I'm not being a very good friend at all."

"…_For all the world we did not see__  
__And all the smiles you gave to me__  
__They're so contagious,…"_

"You're a great friend," Drake said, offering his most charming smile. "I'd like for us to leave this place together, so we can go back to school without being alone. I can't do it without you, and Josh." He confessed.

She smiled back, pushing her hair over her shoulder. "I can try." She said. "I wont promise you anything, but I can try to go back to school, and not freak out. But if I do, and I want to come back, you have to keep living." She said. "You cant come back here, just because I did."

Drake looked into her eyes, watching the first stars of the evening reflect within them. "Deal." He said.

They walked back into the institution together, side by side. Neither of them knew just how ready they were to go back into the world, or if they were even as okay as they were trying to convince themselves they were. But they both knew that they had a friend to keep them strong. Someone to have their back, to offer a hand to grasp.

"…_All hands on deck, don't abandon the ship__  
__You'll never know what it could have been__  
__All hands on deck, my ship is sinking__  
__Don't let me go, don't let me drown…'_

**A/N: **it was kinda a short chapter, and not the Best, but I tried. I wrote it tonight, and in a hurry because it might be a while before I can get back to the computer...


	10. Safe home

**Disclaimer**: Safe home belongs to Anthrax

**A/N:** It's been a while, I bet you all thought I wasn't coming back! Hahah! I have returned to finish! Yay! I had a lot of debate for the song for my final chapter, but, Safe home was the best choice, and I stand by it. So, here's the wrapping up chapter, of the wrapping up story. I hope you enjoy it!

*.*.*.*.

"…_I've been down this road once or twice before__  
__through the open door__  
__i come falling through it__  
__there's a sign post up ahead__  
__like a watershed__  
__and it opens my eyes…"_

Jennifer looked across her desk at Drake and Robyn. She'd expected to see Drake in her office, he hadn't really wanted o be here in the beginning, and the incident with Zack hadn't helped. But Robyn was a surprise, she'd always been very closed off, and Jennifer had never really been sure if she was making any progress. But it seemed they'd helped each other, and results were results.

She smiled at the pair. "If you two believe that you're ready, you are free to leave. Just know that you are always welcome back, if you need it." She shuffled her papers. "I've called on a Taxi to take you both home, it's a long drive. Be safe, both of you. Enjoy your lives, and remember, you are stronger then the things that have happened."

"Thanks." Drake said, shaking her hand. Robyn did the same.

They walked out of Jennifer's office together, each holding the little bit of luggage they'd brought. "Are you sure about this?" Drake asked, seeing Robyn's hesitation.

"Yeah," She said, smiling lazily. "I can't hide here forever."

Drake laughed. If felt good to laugh, to be free. He wasn't stupid, he knew that his past would always be there, but he felt stronger know. Telling himself that he could leave, and knowing that Robyn was by his side gave him strength.

"Are you excited about seeing your family?" Robyn asked, watching the way his eyes lit up.

"Yeah," Drake smiled. "As weird as they can all be, I miss them. What about you?

"I miss my parents." Robyn said. "We've never been really close, but they're good people, and I love them."

They got into the taxi, first giving the man Drake's address, it was closer, and then Robyn's. They sat in silence, not wanting the driver to know much about them. He was already looking at them weird, as if coming out of an institution made them crazy or something. Their bodies tensed as they exited the institution gates, passing through those wrought iron doors left them both with goosebumps. This was it, they were free. They looked at each other, sharing uncertain smiles.

"…_ways, for me to begin__  
__to be born again__  
__and knowing for the first time__  
__ways, all so differently__  
__shine for me to see__  
__the better man that I am…"_

The rest of the ride was uneventful and silent. They watched as the roads and buildings became familiar, anxiety welling within. Drake watched as the taxi turned down his street, and suddenly, he wasn't ready for the ride to be over. He looked at Robyn, who was starring out the window at the world. She turned toward him, as if feeling his eyes on her.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Nervous," he confessed. "Being home, going back to school tomorrow. It almost feels like it's all happening too fast, you know?"

"Believe me, I do.' She offered him her best smile. "You'll be fine. You're a stronger person now, then you were then. Those memories might scare you, but they can't hurt you."

The Driver pulled into his driveway, turning back and nodding. "You're home kid."

"Josh and I will pick you up for school tomorrow?" He asked, not sure.

"Sure," She smiled. "Now get in there, they miss you."

Drake leaned forward, pulling Robyn into a tight embrace. He didn't think he'd ever be able to show her just how much he cared. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She smiled, hugging him back. "See you tomorrow." She echoed.

Slowly, Drake got out of the car, watching as the taxi left the driveway and left for Robyn's house. It felt weird, knowing that she wasn't in the same building, down the hall. But he was okay.

Before he could get near the door it burst open and his mother was running toward him. Audrey threw her arms around Drake, pulling his close as she kissed his forehead.

"I've missed you so much." She sighed, holding him. "I was so glad when Dr. Hertsman called and said you were coming home."

Hesitantly, Drake pulled away from his mom, seeing the joyful tears in her eyes. "I missed you too, mom." He said, looking behind her to see Meghan. "I missed you too.' He smiled.

Meghan looked at her brother, and knew that he wasn't the same as he had been. There was still a sadness inside of him, but she supposed there always would be. The important thing was that he was better know, and that meant she could stop planning pranks, and start carrying them out. Life was boring without making her brothers suffer just a little of her humor.

"Boob," She said as she walked over and gave him a hug.

Josh poked his head out the door, a childish grin spreading over his face when he saw Drake. Without warning, he ran outside and over to Drake. "Hug me brotha!" He squealed as he pulled Drake into a hug. Viewers be damned, he didn't care who saw. He'd missed Drake, and having him back made it seem more like a home.

"Where's Walter?" Drake asked, not seeing his step-father.

"He's at work," Audrey said, ushering everyone back inside the house. "But he's very happy to know that you're home."

Drake smiled. He really had missed this. He sat at the table and listened to his mom and josh talk about everything that had happened while he'd been gone. Nothing had changed, and that was comforting. They discussed school too. Thanks to the News, everyone knew that Drake had been kidnapped, but, thankfully, none of them knew what had happened. The police had convinced the reporters that Shane had taken him for ransom, Officer Grey's idea. It had worked, and for that Drake had been thankful. His time in the institution, Josh had passed off as simply being home.

After dinner, Drake went to his room. He looked at all of the stuff he and josh decorated it with, and smiled. It was so much better then the empty walled dwelling he'd been staying in. He crawled into his bed and sat underneath the blankets, thinking about tomorrow. About the last few weeks.

"…_I've been places in my head__  
__behind me worse than what's ahead__  
__and on my path just like a dream__  
__takes me from the inbetween__  
__from out of nowhere you came strong as stone__  
__and now I'll never have to be alone__  
__what it is I know…"_

Drake starred out the window, watching as twilight fell on his neighborhood. A lot had happened to him in just a few short weeks. He'd been kidnapped, tortured and raped. He had cried and tried to kill himself. True evil had shone it's face in the likeness of a deranged man named Shane. Nightmares had plagued him and driven him into sickness. He'd spent a week in an Institution for messed up kids, got beaten up and starred at by people with their own problems.

But he had also made a friend. From out of nowhere she'd appeared and made him see past all of his pain. She had been the strength and curage he had needed. Withut her, being home right now wouldn't have been possible.

"…_you have always been my safe home__  
__I walk, I run, I burn out into you__  
__you have always been my safe home__  
__my whole world has moved on…"_

Drake picked up his phone and dug the scrap of paper with Robyn's number from his pocket. He wanted to see how she was doing, being outside. It rang twice before she answered, slightly confused by the unknown number.

"…Hello?"

"Hey Robyn, it's Drake." He said, almost hearing the smile on her voice.

"Miss me all ready?" She joked. "How's being home?"

"It's great." Drake said, hearing Josh coming up the stairs. Worried about sleeping, but I'm okay."

She yawned. "Don't worry about nightmares, they're normal and escapale." She chuckled. "I have to go, I'm barely awake."

"Good night." Drake said.

"See you tomorrow, Drake." She said before hanging up the phone.

"Who was that?" Josh asked as he crawled into his bed.

"Robyn," Drake replied, putting his phone down and snuggling into his blankets. "It's cool if we pick her up for school tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah." Josh said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm better know that I'm home." Drake replied, closing his eyes.

"I missed having you around." Josh yawned, and they both fell into sleep.

*.*.*.*.

Sleep was uneventful, empty, and over too soon. Drake groaned as he climbed out of bed and began the old school routine. He'd thought he'd of forgotten the rhythm to it, but, some things just never leave a person. In no time he and josh were out the door and driving to Robyn's house. Josh driving and Drake tapping his fingers on his knee to the song on the radio.

Ten minutes later they were there, and Robyn was waiting outside, finishing her first cigarette of the day. She waved goodbye to her parents and smiled as she climbed into the car.

"Morning boys.' She said enthusiastically.

"Morning." Josh smiled.

"…_i know what i am and I'll always be__  
__your reality, is better than I could dream__  
__all my fears turn from black to white__  
__and i'd stand and fight__  
__the whole world for you__  
__faith, and destiny__  
__I never did believe__  
__my only god is love and__  
__faith, what I see in you__  
__and I can hold it true__  
__like a weight in my hand…."_

"How are you?" Drake asked. She was obviously still nervous about being outside the institution.

"Better, actually. Real air and familiarity really helps." She smiled at Drake. "None of those dreams are really so bad anymore."

Drake smiled, he knew exactly how she felt.

Belleview high stood proud in front of them, looking down with superiority, but without judgment. They tried to relax as they walked toward the doors, seeing the groups of students going in and out the doors.

People were watching Drake, some of them pointing and others whispering. They all thought he'd been kidnapped for ransom, held inside someones house while his captor waited for money. How blissfully wrong they were. Though, that lack of knowledge didn't make it any easier for him to move passed the stares.

Robyn sensed his unease and grabbed his hand, holding it safe within hers. Drake relaxed, giving her hand a gentle squeeze to let her know that he was there for her, just as she was for him. They could fight the fear and uncertainly of all of these kids, so long as they did it together. They could move passed all of their nightmares, their fear, and they could live.

Drake turned toward Robyn, a smile breaking free as he saw her looking at him, and not through him. "You ready for this?"

She smiled. "I am now."

"…_you have always been my safe home__  
__I walk, I run, I burn out into you__  
__you have always been my safe home__  
__my whole world has moved on…"_

_*.*.*.*._

**A/N:** Thank you to the few of you who sent me reviews and messages, you know who you are, and you should know that you're awesome. I wish I could have written a better ending for you, but I've been up for forty-eight-ish hours and I'm barley awake. Thank you, again!


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